FrM, Episode 003: iPad Jeopardy!

Wow, it was touch and go there, but we did finally record another Facts are Meaningless. And because we're so original, we talked about the iPad. But also other stupid crap that no one cares about, like health care! And, uh, Jeopardy. And buying glasses. My god, the excitement never ends. Since you've got nothing better to do, hop over to www.factsaremeaningless.com and listen.

FrM, Episode 002: 3DTV is Dumb

The second episode of my new podcast with my friend Joe, Facts are Meaningless, is live. Go listen to us bitch and moan about the stupidity of 3DTV, lazy TV watchers, and other crap. There's also some coughing and likely some stealth farting going on.

Facts Are Meaningless

Years ago, I talked my friend Joe into starting a blog, because I find it funny when he rants about stupid shit he encounters. He blogged for a while, but his heart wasn't in it. I mean, lets face it, is anyone's heart in actual blogging about life when its so much easier to do 140 character updates on Facebook and Twitter? More cleverness goes into those tweets than any long-ass blog post about my boring-ass life, most of the time...

Anyway, Joe didn't keep blogging, and the site we created for him to blog at, Facts Are Meaningless (a quote from The Simpsons: "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!") went away, but he still owned the domain name for it, FactsAreMeaningless.com.

Late last year, during one of many Skype-based conversations Joe and I have a week, I decided that, once again, his ranting is too much fun not to share. I proposed to him we put on a show! Get some costumes and the local kids and rent a barn and no, not that kind of show. Instead, a podcast, which we could record online while we talked on Skype, and then post online. It would be like letting the public sit in on our conversations. It's ridiculous to think anyone would do that, even our closest friends, but we did it anyway! I found a great site for hosting the URL, we got it mapped to FactsAreMeaningless.com, setup what little needed to be done on the back end (the hosting site, Posterous, is absolutely amazing, so we don't have to do much; I fear it will be bought and ruined at any moment), and then we promptly got sick and traveled and dealt with holidays and didn't record anything for a month.

But now we did. Last week. Episode 001 is live and we talk about stupid shit at Best Buy, laptop woes, and the best movie reviews currently on the Internet for old, old movies with the word "star" in the title.

If you read this all the way through and you DON'T go listen to it, you are dead to me. Seriously. I can find out who you are, you know. I have a computer and stuff. So go! FrM 001!

Enjoy it! Or don't. We don't care, we're gonna keep doing it anyway. But if you really, really hate it, leave us some snarky feedback to enjoy.

2009: The Year of Suck

Yes, the secret is out: I hated 2009. So much for my theory that odd-numbered years are better.

Not to say there were not high points. Oh my yes, there were definite highs. Enough so that I would not list '09 as "worst year ever," even if it felt that way occasionally. Okay, a lot of the time. But in keeping with it not being the worst, here's a list of the best stuff in my life from the year that has passed:

Reconnecting with friends. Lots of friends: old friends, new friends, and really old friends. Some of that I owe to my separation, some of it to my high school reunion back in the summer of 2008, some to luck, some to hard work, and hell yes, some of the credit even goes to Facebook. I probably wrote 2 million words in instant messages alone. You people know who you are and why you're important to me. If you don't know why, ask and I'll tell you. (If you don't think you're important in my life at all...you're probably not. So go to hell.) (I kid. You don't have to go to hell.)

Another Griffith, this one named Kai, arrived in July. He appears to be a physical clone of my late grandfather. Maybe that'll stop if he ever grows hair.

Travel. I was in Florida twice, spent over a week in California, and went to a major sci-fi/fantasy fandom con in Montreal that was a bit of a life changer. (The less said about my trip to Vegas for work last January, the better.) Not exactly world hopping, but pretty good for a guy who used to be more than happy with a stay-cation. Not anymore. Living across the street from the airport doesn't hurt.

The day job at PCMag. While my company has had some rough patches over the last two years, I remain very, very happy working with a fine group of people. I look forward to every visit to New York City when I get to hang with them. (Though I'm still glad I'm not going to Vegas next week for CES.) (And I miss my old job. But this is supposed to be a positive list, so I'll pretend becoming a managing editor this summer was a big promotion! Go me!)

iGor the iPhone. I got it in late 2008, but it became my tether to the connected world throughout 2009, even when I could barely use it in Canada. It's a marvel, even though the 'phone' part of it isn't as good as tin cans with string half the time. Or 90% of the time in my own apartment. It also introduced me to the joy of Sudoku. Wish it was on Verizon Wireless though. But who doesn't?

Tech upgrades, in fact, were a big part of my year: new shielded speakers, a fancy microphone for podcasting, a 22-inch LCD monitor, new dual-band 802.11n router, powerline networking adapters, a picture scanner, and a fancy orange netbook I named Clementine, all appeared on my desk.

Shaving my head. It looked terrible, but I'm glad I did it at least once after years of wondering. At least it wasn't a tattoo I'll come to regret. Though I'm sure that day is coming.

Writing. I "finished" my third novel. Picture that word "finished" with air-quotes, since it's never really done. I'm still doing revisions, after a first draft that took a ludicrously long 18 months (though I had some extenuating circumstances, I still consider that a fail). In fact, I should be doing revisions right now. Instead, I'm blogging a real blog post for the first time in months. Because you can't be a writer without procrastinating.

I also wrote what I think is a pretty good short story I need to shop around, while also continuing the quest for an agent for the novel. And once I do all that, I have to write another book (next one, I hope, is a collaboration with a friend, if she ever finishes her current work in progress book). It just never ends.

Barnes & Noble Cafe. Without it, I would not have finished that book, as I needed a place to go to in evenings that had some consistency. I'm sure I should go to a locally owned place, but now that I've got over $100 in B&N gift cards to spend on hot chocolate there, that won't happen any time soon.

No cable. I'm free of reality TV and using the set for nothing but background noise. I still watch way to much using other means, but I like to belive that makes me more discerning. Tho probably not.

Entertainment high points: the end of Battlestar Galactica (though it could have been better). Pushing Daisies, Glee, Community, Mad Men, Breaking Bad (especially the episode with the dead battery in the RV), and select episodes of Dollhouse. Of course, LOST continued to astound, and I will be very said when it ends in 2010, yet so happy, because more shows need to just have an ending.

Oh, best movies: 500 Days of Summer, Pixar's UP, and, duh, Star Trek. I haven't seen Up in the Air or The Hangover yet, but expect good things.

FIVE GUYS.

Stories. With Monkeys. The Kastensmidt Rule states: Everything is better with monkeys. And he's not wrong. Two of the greatest things I read this year even had monkeys in the titles. The first was "Evil Robot Monkey " by Mary Robinette Kowal. Second, and my favorite thing I've read this year, is "26 Monkeys, Also The Abyss" by Kij Johnson. I got to meet both of these women at the World Fantasy Con in San Jose, CA, in October. They are awesome.

In fact, one of the best moments of the con was listening to the completely fearless Kij read another short story of her stories aloud, the sexually explicit sci-fi horror tale called "Spar ." Amazing.

Great novels I read this year: 9 Dragons by Michael Connelly, Revenge of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz, and Carter Beats the Devil by Glen David Gold, which isn't new, but worth mentioning anyway.

Horde This game mode on Gears of War 2 has lead to a (somewhat) weekly meeting online with myself, my brother, my friends, my cousins, and others so we can all take our frustrations out on aliens using automatic weapons and yet not have to play with 11-year-kids with potty mouths who are much better than us. We can swear and suck at it all by ourselves this way. It's less embarrassing, but still cathartic. Thank you, Xbox Live.

Canine companionship. I lost Siren in June , and sometimes it still hurts, but more because I feel guilty that we didn't put her out of her misery long before that. She deserved better, even if she could be a total bitch sometimes. She remains on my shelf; sometime in 2010, she gets to go to the Northampton Community Gardens and get sprinkled in the river where she used to dive in for tennis balls.

Meanwhile, yeller dogs Kylie and Caper have been the one constant in my life. They've forced responsibility on me when I would have abdicated it. I found out it's very important for me to be responsible for something other than myself. They're far more important to me than me, it turns out. They've both had surgery to remove things from their heads, and come out looking all the prettier. They're bed hogs, and always hungry, and one has separation-anxiety issues so he's back to using a crate and... I adore them both. As I tweeted in November, "Charles Schulz got it wrong. Happiness is two, warm, elderly Labradors with bad breath."